A selection of the many letters we received commenting on Mark's recent fill-in spot on the Rush Limbaugh Show.

BEST SUBSTITUTE
Thank you for hosting the Rush Limbaugh Show. I have never laughed so hard for so
long when you made your introduction, plus you were VERY entertaining and
informative throughout the entire show. YOU ARE THE BEST substitute host Rush has
EVER had!!! Thank you and I really look forward to you hosting his show again if he
has to leave the mic.

Patrick Strand
Mesa, Arizona

SOUND IS EVERYTHING
Fantastic show.  I was laughing from minute one.  Unlike other radio talk show hosts, you and Rush are the only ones who realize that you're on the radio.   Sound is EVERYTHING!

Hope to hear more from you... much more!

Merrill Noreen
Blue Ridge, Virginia

WE THE PRODUCT?
Thanks for your taking Rush's place today. I enjoyed your program agenda.

Question: The U. S. Gov't putting a value of 7.9 million dollars on its citizens, wreaks of "ownership"? If that is true, it is no longer "we the people" running the show. I feel like I've never run the show anyway.

To my understanding, each State, Commonwealth and Republic comprising the United States of America is supposed to be sovereign. Obviously that has been usurped. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but I just wanted to voice it.

William T. Arant
Riverside, Connecticut

SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL
This comment is not about your columns (which I just discovered for the first time today) but a comment about filling in for Rush's 7-12-08 show.  It was simply delightful listening to you!

Your sense of humor tucked into the serious commentary, and your interaction with callers, was spectacular.  Now don't go getting all fairy boy embarrassed here. Thank you for guest hosting for Rush, allowing listeners who are not familiar with you to be introduced to another terrific conservative radio personality.

Jennifer Lorensen
Pueblo, Colorado

SMOKIN’
Congratulations on a Jolly Good Show today on the Rush Limbaugh Program.  Somehow can't picture you with a tan and a cigar.  But that's why it's radio; I don't have to picture at all.

Keep your spirits up and don't let the bastards get you.  I look forward to more
columns.

Simon A. Steiner
White Plains, New York
 
(one of the Bitterati, what with all my guns and my religion and all that rot)

NETWORK SPOT?
Very excited to hear you again on the radio in Limbaugh's chair. You could easily move into the EIB network!

I first heard you on WLW with Mike McConnell ,very interesting, promoting “America Alone”.

I'm a proponent of your speech, humor. continue to spread your ideas.

Brad,
Jackson, MI

USEFUL FOREIGN PHRASES
Great to hear you and hope Rush has you fill in more often.

Others may have already informed you, but the French you want to use is something like this:

Je voudrais decouper ses couilles.

And since we are all supposed to learn Spanish, Babelfish suggest this:
Querría recortar sus cojones.

Brad Young
Atlanta, Georgia

OVERWHELMED
I had never heard you before nor read your material.

I am writing to express my overwhelming delight at your wit and humor as evidenced on Rush's show today.

A thousand thanks.

Robert Weltman
Denver, Colorado

CULTURED CONSERVATIVE
A verily cultured conservative! What an absolutely fabulous diversion from raw, witless partisanship. I’m a very far-right libertarian (which I suspect you may be culturally, though I haven’t read enough of your articles to get a solid read) and believe you deserve at the very least your own show, and at most a conservative counterpart to the Daily Show (had *you* and maybe Miller and Derbyshire written the ½ Hour News Hour it would’ve actually been funny!). And, incidentally people did sit around in 1917 discussing the justification of the war, unfortunately they were all in prison cells courtesy of Wilson and Palmer. Anti-war activists (of which I am one) should rejoice that we’re not subjected to a truly leftist regime.

Vaarwel,

John H.

TOO FUNNY!
Mark, I just got finished listening to Dennis Miller chatting up Martin Short, and your monologue eclipsed it!

Andrew Pomeroy
Houston, Texas

THANKS, BUT NOT TOO LOUD
[Whispering] Many thanks from a Canadian of British citizenship.  Happy Loyalist Day.  What a brilliant move to host Rush's Great Hootenany.  I really appreciated your flavor and colour.  Can I say that? You just keep on and we'll be listening for your voice again.

Waiting for the thought police now.

Phyllis Nixon
Canada

AMERICA’S MATERIALISM PROBLEM
I enjoyed listening to you on the EIB network today. I'm sure much of your segment about SUV's was humor but I've heard Rush advocate for the SUV before and I think it's wrong.

Look, I despise politicians telling me what to eat, and what to drive.  It's definitely not their business.  Nanny statism makes me barf.  If Americans choose to weigh 350lbs and spend the money for 15 mpg transportation it's their choice and none of the governments damn business.  However, I don't think its good for society.

It is another thing entirely for influential conservatives to promote and defend SUV's which are, in a majority of cases, a gross waste of resources.  Granted, there are folks who live in climates or work in professions where SUV's make perfect sense.  However, it is preposterous to use a vehicle that has the capabilities of  an SUV(and the substantial efficiency penalties) for commuting to work or for picking up the groceries.  It's gross overkill to drive a 7000lbs Ford Excursion when a 3500lbs Nissan Maxima or Toyota Avalon will do it.  It's similar to hiring a tractor trailer instead of a pickup truck to deliver up your new lawn tractor from Home Depot .  It's similar to calling Carnival Cruise Lines and hiring the 113,300-ton Splendor to take six of your buddies deep sea fishing.  You wouldn't fly the Space Shuttle Discovery from Florida to Texas instead of flying United Airlines.  It's silly and disgusting.  If in 1945 you'd told my grandparents that people would one day drive military personal carriers to work they'd thought you were crazy.  And it is certifiable to drive a Humvee to pickup groceries, yet they are all over the place.

I just think conservatives should be, you know, conserving.  America has a materialism problem and would be better off if moneys spent on Humvees and 20 million square foot houses like Al Gore's and John Edward's went toward civil society.  If we took care of our communities there wouldn't be any room for leftist to come in and offer such farces as national healtcare.  If we spent our money fighting liberal policy we wouldn't have generations of kids graduating from liberal indoctrination camps otherwise known as highschools. 

We are in for some serious trouble.  The demand for socialism will increase exponentially as the fruits of liberal social policies and beliefs mature.  The increasing number of crumbling families and single mothers leaves the most vulnerable Americans exposed and they will vote for socialism from the government if no one else is there. 

Anyhow, good luck with the new project.  I enjoyed America Alone to the extent so much bad news can be enjoyed.

Brent Huber

MORE INTERNATIONALS
I'm an avid Rush Limbaugh listener, and I enjoyed listening to you in his place on Friday July 11th. I love your accent. Rush ought to have more internationals hosting his show because people like you put a different spin on things. I have an accent myself since I live in the heart of Texas (Austin). Take care me friend and you can host Rush's every chance you get.

Tim Jolly
FAVE RAVE
You are by far my favorite, and also the most entertaining, guest host.

Ray Tibbitts
California, by way of Spain.

AWESOME
You were an extremely, articulate, and intelligent guest host for Rush's show. Thank you for doing such an awesome job, you were great.

Am reading "America Alone" and can't tell you how much I am enjoying it. Well written, absolutely correct, and extremely educational. I have recommended it to my Pastor.

Take care and stay strong.

Michael D. Bonsall Sr.
Cantonment, Florida

HE CAN SING TOO
You were great on Rush's show Friday.  I listened on my iPod while walking on the beach.

Usually when Rush has a guest host I don't even bother to download those shows but, in all honesty, I skipped two of Rush's shows and listened to yours first.  (Don't tell him!)

You have a wonderful singing voice, also.  I wouldn't be surprised if you have done it in a professional or semi-professional manner in the past.

Come back soon; I really miss Happy Warrior and all things Steyn.

Psyched to see you on the cruise!  (My g/fs up home are so jealous.  Ha ha,
neener neener neeeeener.)

Your fan,

Cindy Beaudin
Vero Beach, Florida

TOUGH SEAT TO FILL
Absolutely loved your effort hosting Rush's show Friday.  Always enjoyed
your writing - you're a man of many talents.  That's a tough seat to fill,
and you knocked it out of the park.

Justin Haskin
Indianapolis, Indiana

PERMANENT GUEST HOST?
Need I say more? Well, being a woman, I will anyway.  You are one of two guest hosts on Rush's show who do not make me miss him even more.  The other one, while revered and admired, is still a distant second to you.

Susan Fuller
East Rochester, Ohio

STONE AGE
A comment re the fuel problem

You stated cleverly--"the stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones..."  and I didn't catch the rest of the comment but would love to hear it again.  I thoroughly enjoyed your biting wit and look forward to hearing you more.

Ginger Purvis
Yorba Linda

ATTRACTING CULTURAL LIBERALS
I agree with your comment that we conservatives need to focus on cultural Liberals as a target group to swell our ranks.   These are the same people that Reagan talked about attracting to conservativism with his "New Republican Party" theme, and he proved that it will work.   One area where we Conservatives are weak is in our marketing.    For conservatism to thrive it is essential that we continue with 1000-word articles and 2-hour monologues but this alone is not going to induce cultural liberals to take the first step, or to consider our point of view, in fact it might even turn them away from Conservatism.   As you mentioned in your monologue cultural liberals are busy in their day-to-day so they just take the easy  route, so we've got to make Conservatism the easy route, and this will be achieved by adding one tool to our tool kit: Marketing.

Through simple subliminal marketing methods like, headlines, jingles, George Lackoff-type euphemisms, Liberals continue to win over cultural liberals, keeping  conservatives from penetrating this group (in spite of, or because of, our 1000 word essays and 2 hour monologues).  As we all have experienced, just mention the word Conservative to a Liberal and you've lost any opportunity to even start a debate let alone discuss and conclude anything.

Liberals are of course the marketing experts, they run the advertising companies, we can learn from their effectiveness.  Take any example: "Coke, the real thing", identifies Coke as the original and anything else, like Pepsi, is the imposter,  simple, effective.   That is the element that we conservatives continue to overlook in our attempts to win over Liberals.   I find it frustrating that despite all of our effective communications Liberals continue to win over cultural liberals because cultural liberals would rather read or hear a 4 word headline, as opposed to reading a 1000 word essay or 2 hour monologue, and we still aren't doing anything about that.

"Poverty, Solutions, Conservative".

Imagine this message, on a T-shirt or a Coffee cup, being programmed subliminally into the minds of the cultural liberals.   If you put the word "Conservative" first you will turn off their minds, as their Liberal subliminal marketing has already programmed them to respond.   But if you put "Poverty, Solutions" in big letters and then "Conservative" with a progressive forward slant, they will look at the first two words and then find the third, and from that point on they are subliminally programmed.

Perhaps one of you two gentlemen know a way to get this message out there.

Steve Bowler

WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL
Another excellent job on Rush's show.  I listen to you on Hugh Hewitt's show and I enjoy hearing you as a host and as a guest.

I look forward to your follow-up to America Alone.

Brian A Gross
Birmingham, Alabama

TEXAS JUDGES
In the first hour of your stint on Rush's show on Friday (great job as usual, by the way!), you mentioned the story of the Texas County Judge (in Dallas) who demanded an apology from a County Commissioner who used the term "black hole" in referring to the inadequacies of some county bureaucracy. 

Just wanted to clarify -- as a Texas judge myself -- that a "County Judge" is not a judge in the robe & powdered wig sense; but is more like the Mayor of the County -- i.e., a political and legislative position.  He (or she) presides over "Commissioner's Court,"  which is the county government's analog to City Council.

That said, the confusion is understandable, and hardly uncommon.  (I assume the titles are different in New Hampshire.)

Grant Dorfman
Houston, Texas

DRILLER FILLER
You did a great job filling-in for Rush.  I hope to hear you more often in the future whenever Rush is "at the dentist."

Adam Brockshus
Las Vegas, Nevada

BAD IDEAS FROM EUROPE
It was a treat to hear you on the Limbaugh show last Friday (7/11).

I know that this is flattery. However, to my mind you are one of the least programmatic conservative commentators today. Your insights and foresights are quite frequently fresh, authentic, original, and often spot on as for example when you assessed - some time in 2006/7? - the potential impact on the US upon the calls by some Democrats for an immediate troop withdrawal from Iraq based on an artificial, politically motivated time table. I seem to recall that you wrote, paraphrased, that the next President had better embark on a world tour and explain to friends how reliable an ally the United States was and would be for the coming decades. This assessment was and is solid and valid.

In regards to Mr. Obama and his instructions to us,  the unwashed masses, on how to learn to speak Spanish, I'm one of those "venerated" multi-lingual Europeans who has been living in the US legally for 34 years. As Americans, Mr. Obama chides us for not being able to say more than "merci beaucoup" in French. How would this be for additional French? "Mr. Obama- vous courez à la bouche!" Now in a multi-lingual country such as Switzerland, the premiere second language that is prescribed in schools is English, ahead of any the four official languages. Spanish is not on the required curriculum. So with his firm grip on "merci beaucoup," Mr. Obama is globetrotting to Germany. Does he seek to re-enact JFK's glamour moment when he said at the Berlin Wall "Ich bin ein Berliner?" The Berlin wall as a meager foreign relations prop is no more, and Mr. Obama has to move his appearance to a venue that supplies a much more grandiose ambiance for a rock star/messiah/fuehrer-type personality of his stature. Is there going to be a new Leni Riefenstahl filming the event? Will we hear "Ich bin nicht ein Berliner sondern ein Plappermaul?" To really show his  linguistic prowess [!], perhaps Mr. Obama could bamboozle the Germans in Spanish.

Seriously, if we as a country were to install Mr. Obama as President, three additional social features that historically failed in Europe would  join a well-established fourth one in America's social and national fabric. First, we would witness a new cult of personality that would far surpass FDR and JFK. Second, we would adopt political theology as a mantra for social change, a.k.a. leftist academic and religious ideological pipedreams and chimeras that have strong roots in the street theater of 1968. Third, economic socialism might finally move toward reality in the US much with the help of San Francisco Democrats (P.S. Could we approach the Chinese for the purpose of swapping San Francisco and Berkeley for Taiwan? The Taiwanese might appreciate it more to be part of the US.) The fourth European disease is well established stateside, but would also be more fully enhanced through an Obama administration. Feudalism already reigns supremely in government, in our private and public corporations, academia, churches and the
military.

But to top it off, Mr. & Mrs. Obama would then embark upon a nation-wide campaign of mending our souls. In anticipation of their arrival, I'm going to wait  and hope somebody is coming since Mr. & Mrs. Obama allegedly are the ones we have been waiting for. If nobody comes, I'll abandon my waiting and, living on the West Coast close to the ocean, I'll engage on a more active life since Mr. Obama will not allow me to live a passive life again. To that end, I'll start driving down to Malibu on an at least a bi-weekly basis and measure the receding ocean waves. Perhaps Mr. & Mrs. Obama will  instruct me whether I should measure them at low or high tide....

Finally, congratulations on emerging unscathed from the Inquisition in Canada, though, I'm sure, there is more to come regarding the silencing of conservative voices. Only the next round may well be played out in the US when the Fairness Doctrine gets re-introduced. After all, what better fate could there be for a journalist and commentator like yourself than to one day sound like those on  NPR? Nirwanic conditions await those who pass through the "valley of the fairness doctrine"....

Keep up the good work and I hope to hear you again on some radio stations.

Ernest Zimmermann
Los Angeles