Programming note: Tonight, Saturday, I'll be here with the conclusion of our current Tale for Our Time, Sax Rohmer's Mohammedan caper The Quest of the Sacred Slipper.
~Ahead of that, welcome to the Academy Awards edition of Mark Steyn on the Town. Stand by for a cavalcade of Oscar winners, Oscar losers, and members of an even more pitiful category - from the Continent and from the Commonwealth, as written by a diverse array of songwriters from Irving Berlin to Bryan Adams.
To listen to the programme, simply click here and log-in.
~Thank you for all your kind comments on last week's show. Michael Seth, a First Quarter Founding Member of The Mark Steyn Club, liked our telephonic theme:
Prior to the show, my telephone song knowledge began and ended with Blondie's Hanging On The Telephone. Enjoyed this very much - thanks Mark for such a welcome respite from the week's events.
We barely skimmed the surface, Michael: you've got three-quarters of a century of pre-Blondie telephone songs to discover. Teresa, a California Steyn Clubber, says:
Loved the unique theme this week! Gerald Ford's quip to Vikki Carr must rank pretty high in the library of great retorts!!
I'm not sure he was "quipping", Teresa, so much as stating the obvious. Jackie, a Steyn Club member from Pennsylvania, writes:
Oh Mark, what joy you spread..! After reading all the doom and gloom in the world, your show brought such an uplift to my spirit and I found myself smiling and singing along with Hello My Baby! And the show just got better after that. Thank you. How quickly we can lose this important culture but thanks to you it is alive and well. God bless.
For First Day Founding Member Thomas Carey, Jackie's singalong selection also stood out:
I have always wondered what song the frog was singing in the Looney Tunes episode "One Froggy Night". Now I know "Hello, My Baby". Thanks Mark!
David Thackray picked out two perfect tracks - and one wooden intro:
That was a belter of an opener from Mark Steyn's On the Town. I suspected It Must Be Him was not Shirley Bassey but couldn't name the vocalist. Vikki Carr can 'rap' as not every singer can. Such a terrific record. Johnny Mathis' 99 Miles From L.A. was sublime, too. Gene Page is a name I first heard arranging Tell Me When the Whistle Blows from Elton John's Captain Fantastic & the Brown Dirt Cowboy album. And Ed Sullivan stills sounds so awkward, wooden and ill-at-ease in every clip I hear of him. How was he so influential?
Mr Bradley liked the show - up to a point:
What a delightful mix of tunes. Being a huge ABBA fan, I really enjoyed Ring Ring at the end of the hour, particularly since it was preceded by the rarely heard Movie Star by Harpo. I've had that 45 in my collection for 50 years and never knew of the Bjorn & Benny connection.
Nessuno Mi Puo Giudicare was a minor hit by Gene Pitney in my neck of the USA in 1966 but I didn't realize there was a female version until today. Pitney reached #8 on the Italian Top 40 while Caterina Caselli hit #1. I gotta go on eBay later today and see if I can track down a copy of her single.
The only downers on todays show? Call Me and By The Time I Get To Phoenix by Old Blue Eyes. Dreadful vocals. Horrible arrangements. Pathetic productions. Absolute rubbish.
Jake, a Steyn Clubber in the English West Country, thought the show lacked a certain something:
Well, I'm jiggered. I'd have bet a double-monkey Mark would play one particular telephone song but it was not to be. The photo over the SteynOnline promo article showed an old fashioned plug-and-socket switchboard; Mark met and liked the lyricist Betty Comden and everyone adores the delightfully 'couth' Judy Holliday so why didn't we hear "I'm in love/with a guy/Plaza O/double-four/double -three/ It's a perfect relationship...."? I frickin' love that record!
Well, I talked a lot about Miss Holliday with Comden & Green - they were a performing trio together - but I sort of felt that belonged more in a show about telephone answering services rather than the telephone per se. However, you can read a bit more about Bells Are Ringing here.
One more - from our West Coast music maven Gary Alexander:
Great collection of telephone songs. I loved Frank's version of Irving Berlin's 1924 waiting by the telly ballad, as well as Lily Tomlin's intro, "one ring-a-ding ding, two ring-a-ding-dings..."
"All alone by the telephone
Waiting for a ring, a ting-a-ling."I also remember Allan Sherman's song "Good Advice," which I sang for a review in college in the 1960s. It lampoons various inventors, and Chorus #9 (of 10) comes from Mr. Bell:
Alexander Graham Bell was building a fence
With some wood, and a long piece of wire
He said, "There's something strange going on around here
I keep hearing the voice of Uncle Myer."I said, "Graham ... you Cracker"— my little joke—
"With that wire you got the world in your power
Just get a mouthpiece, and an earpiece, and a piece in between
And you can sponsor The Telephone Hour"
Yeah, I like that track, Gary, but it's something like ten minutes long. So I thought maybe I'd just use the Alexander Graham Bell bit, but it's right at the end and didn't really work without all the warm-up choruses. So maybe we'll have to do a special on songs of invention.
~On the Town is my weekly music show on Serenade Radio every Saturday at 5pm Greenwich Mean Time - that's 6pm in western and central Europe or 12 noon North American Eastern. You can listen from almost anywhere in the world by clicking the button at top right here. We also post On the Town at SteynOnline every weekend as a bonus for Mark Steyn Club members. You can find all our previous shows here.
We do enjoy your comments on our weekend programming. Steyn Clubbers are welcome to leave them below. For more on The Mark Steyn Club, now in its ninth year, see here - and don't forget our special Gift Membership.
Mark Steyn on the Town can be heard on Serenade Radio at its regular times:
Saturday 5pm London time/1pm New York
Sunday 5am London time/10pm Los Angeles