I've been out and about promoting the big Steynamite night in Toronto on April 24th, at which I'll be pinch-hitting for Dick Cheney, and already the fan mail is rolling in â€“ at least for our promoter, Ryan Ruppert:
*From: *Bob Gueldoff
I thank God that ass hole Cheney thinks Canada is too dangerous to come too......shows what a moron he is [ understatement of all time]..I mean Cheney is one of the worst persons in History ...right up there with Hitler..would you bring Adolf to Canada to speak if he were alive??
YOU are an asshole..a goof...a money hungry brain dead lump ..I will do anything for a buck kind of guy.....
..people like you should look over their shoulders more......someone is sneaking up on you with a crow bar....I would not park in any dark corners if I were you.
I hasten to add that's not from my sometime acquaintance Bob Geldof of Live Aid fame, but Bob Gueldoff of Canada. On the John Oakley show this morning, I somewhat carelessly said that anyone buying tickets for the first three rows would be entitled to a free personal waterboarding from me. But we may have to offer a comp to Mr Gueldoff.
If Dick Cheney is Hitler, I'm Eva Braun. At her spiffy new website, Laura Rosen Cohen writes:
Mark Steyn is a slut and I am aparently the last female in North America to know?!?!
Goodbye cold, cruel world....
Er, we may have to hire extra security. Bob Gueldoff with his crowbar I can handle but Lauraâ€¦
Even if you're not looking for a waterboarding, I hope to see you at Steynamite. Michael Coren of Sun News will be there to launch his new book, and I'll be doing my best to blow up as many taboos and sacred cows as I can in the cause of celebrating free speech, individual liberty, and generally sticking it to the statist enforcers. (Scaramouche has written a song for the occasion.)
For our New York readers, Toronto's a mildly scenic 90-minute drive up the Queen Elizabeth Way from Buffalo, and, pace Dick Cheney, it's pretty safe as long as you keep your car doors locked and try not to catch the eye of Commissar Barbara Hall and the Ontario "Human Rights" Mounted Police prowling the highways on SARS-breathing winged zombie moose. Oh, and you can save money with Early Bird booking.