Following the news that global warming is to blame for those kidnapped Nigerian girls, Al Gore explains that it's also to blame for the unstoppable march of ISIS across Syria and Iraq. Fortunately, Secretary of State John Kerry has been keeping his eye on the big picture by devoting his energies to figuring out how to lower the oceans with renowned climate expert Leonardo di Caprio. It's a shame Leo's yacht is too big for the Tigris, since I'm sure he and John could settle this Iraq thing in nothing flat if they just anchored it at the Mosul Sailing Club and Madrassah.
Incidentally, the priorities of the State Department at this turbulent time came up yesterday in my conversation with Hugh Hewitt:
John Kerry is off talking about the rise of the oceans with Leonardo DiCaprio or something. That's been his priority the last few days. And I understand that's a big priority to him when you own as much beachfront property as John Kerry. But these are not serious people to trust with the fate of a strategically important area. And John Kerry is a great yachtsman, but he's a lousy secretary of State.
~Fellow planet-saver Michael E Mann, winner of the Mustafa Prize, Distinguished Fellow of the Scanty, Sloppy and Sh*tty Society and world's leading Koch addict, has tracked down and exposed the latest #KochScaifeDenialMachine hired-gun frontman for the Vast Potemkin Village of Denialism. Step forward, CNN's Jake Tapper:
CNN's @JakeTapper faciliates #KochBrothers attack on advocate for #climatechange action
CNN is part of the #KochDenialistMachine? Why, yes! Dr Mann's got the goods:
Seems @CNN's @JakeTapper has a history as #KochBrothers apologist
It's like Invasion of the Climate Snatchers. Everybody's a Koch Brother now except Mike and his glamorous gal pal Jessica Alba. Jake Koch-Tapper, Diane Koch-Rehm, Melissa Koch-Harris-Perry... Why not just lie down in a darkened room and take a nap, Doctor? You'll wake up as Dr Michael E Koch-Mann, feeling all nice and refreshed...
Alternatively, if the strain of being the world's most relentless #KochConspiracy exposer is beginning to get to you, have you ever thought of taking up a less stressful line of work? Like, say, being a scientist?