Guest-hosting America's Number One radio show on Friday, I referenced a news story about cockroaches crawling deep into the ear canals of Floridians as they sleep and leaving egg sacs of fifty little baby roaches in there. And I suggested this was what Trump was doing to NeverTrumpers every night, burrowing deep into their ears and planting his sacs, so they wake up in the morning with fifty little Trumproaches scurrying round their brains and driving them nuts. For example:
Did you catch the Tony Awards? I always love the glitter and glamour, the sheen and sophistication. On Sunday that renowned stage actor Robert De Niro, introducing that great Broadway song'n'dance man Bruce Springsteen, just locked up the Tony Award for Best Introduction of the Year:
I'm going to say one thing: F**k Trump!
It's no longer 'Down with Trump!' It's 'F**k Trump!'
Do stick with the above clip to see the begowned and tuxedoed crowd of NeverTroupers rise to its feet and cheer to the rafters. If only De Niro had thought to add some amusing observation about what a "feckless c**t" Trump's daughter is. Even so the audience hadn't heard such sparkling, witty banter since William Shakespeare, picking up the Tony for Best Revival, said "Something is f**ked in the state of Denmark", and Oscar Wilde responded with, "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both is some weird f**king f**ked-up sh*t, like."
At that point the orchestra struck up, and a full complement of dancing girls in spangly tights came out high-kicking and singing:
Light the lights!
We've got nothing to hit but the f**ks!
Baby, ev'rything's coming up 'F**k Trump!'
Then Tommy Tune and Bernadette Peters appeared at the top of a fabulous Ziegfeldian staircase and tap-danced down with a hundred chorus boys who tossed their top hats on their canes and then rotated them to reveal "F**K TRUMP!" spelled out in giant flashing pink letters on the back, before the cast of South Pacific sang "I'm gonna f**k that Trump right out of my hair" and Julie Andrews and a troupe of eager young Equity moppets came skipping across the Alpine backcloth to trill:
The hills are alive
With the sound of 'F**k Trump!'
After which the credits rolled to the accompaniment of "There's No Business Like F**k Trump Business".
The Tonys appear to have hijacked my beloved Riskie Awards. I may have to sue.
~In Canada, meanwhile, the Foreign Minister (gulp) Chrystia Freeland had no sooner compared Trump to Hitler than her own grandfather was outed as a Nazi collaborator. No word yet on whether this news has caused Justin's other eyebrow to fall off. (Trudeau and Chrystia are said to be on the outs since she accidentally slapped 270 per cent retaliatory tariffs on imported Yank eyebrow glue.)
Meanwhile, Justin continues to raise other people's eyebrows. Bloomberg reports:
Trudeau's occasional boy-scout goofiness also seems out of place in the trade fight. When Prime Minister Theresa May, another close ally, paid him a brief visit in Ottawa last September, U.K. officials were taken aback by what Trudeau's office suggested the two should do: kayaking, a proposal so decidedly un-British it was immediately dismissed.
No one wants to go kayaking with Justin and get creeped out by the hairy amphibious centipede in the bottom of the boat only to realize he's had another eyebrow malfunction.
There was also a lot of back and forth over a basketball game. May's people sought repeated assurances Trudeau wouldn't embarrass the older May by shooting hoops.
They got the assurances. And then he shot hoops anyway, while Mrs May stood behind twiddling her thumbs and wondering if she could make the early flight back to Heathrow.
Incidentally, are there any readers out there who'd like to pair up with me for a landmark Supreme Court case? I'm thinking of walking into a kayak manufacturer and demanding he make me a gay wedding kayak.
~In Britain, Southwark Cathedral has marked the first anniversary of the London Bridge jihad killings by hosting a ...oh, c'mon, you can guess:
Later in the day, Southwark Cathedral will host its second Grand Iftar which, this year, will also mark the anniversary of the London Bridge attacks and will bring all communities together to celebrate Ramadan, to promote resilience and to share the common values of hope, peace and unity and celebrate the diversity of those who live and work in the Bankside area.
At the foot of the piece, we're invited to subscribe to a daily email and "stay up to date with the latest news stories from a Christian perspective". But I've read the above item thoroughly, and I can't actually detect any "Christian perspective", can you?
~On Friday I'll be back in my hometown of Toronto to celebrate the splendid work of the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms and to accept the signal honour of the very first George Jonas Freedom Award. Hope to see you there. It should be a fun night, and we will try to do George proud.
If you can't make that date, do give a thought to our inaugural Mark Steyn Club Cruise from Montreal to Boston this autumn. We'll be attempting some seaboard versions of The Mark Steyn Show, Tales for Our Time, our Sunday Poem and other favorite features. If you're thinking of joining us, don't leave it too late, as the price is more favorable the earlier you book.
~We had a busy weekend at SteynOnline, starting with a look at the changing face of anti-globalists. Our Saturday movie date marked the passing of Eunice Gayson, the first Bond girl (and, via Twitter, sometime telly mum of Josephine Bailey), and our Song of the Week took the unusually optimistic position for this website that the sun'll come out tomorrow. If you're unpersuaded on the last point as a new week begins, we hope you'll want to check out one or two of the foregoing.
Thank you so much for all the Mark Steyn Club subscription renewals this last month. As our second year begins, I know very well that I would not be here without the support of our members around the world, for which we are all profoundly grateful. For more information on the Steyn Club, see here - and don't forget our limited-time Gift Membership.
Catch you on the telly tonight with Tucker live across America at 8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific - or pre-Trump/Kim breakfast time in Singapore.