It's the start of the second year of The Mark Steyn Club, and we're celebrating in the traditional manner, and with all-hit party music, and, more soberly, with my answers to your various brickbats and bouquets about the Club, and with my gratitude to all those of you around the world who chose to stick with me during the darkest year of my professional life.
But, rather than dwelling on all the gloom of last spring, we'd like to keep the celebration going into this autumn - with the very first Mark Steyn Club Cruise along the St Lawrence and the Eastern Seaboard at the height of fall foliage. We'll leave Montreal on September 29th and sail aboard the beautiful ms Rotterdam, flagship of the Holland America fleet, via Quebec City, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia and Maine (with a brief passing glimpse of the highly minimal New Hampshire seacoast) before landing at Boston on October 6th.
I'll be doing double-duty, hosting the cruise, and also hosting live editions of The Mark Steyn Show at sea - with among others former presidential candidate Michele Bachmann; John O'Sullivan, Mrs Thatcher's speechwriter and a doughty Brexiteer; and bestselling authors and film-makers Ann McElhinney and Phelim McAleer, whose new play on the world's biggest eco-scam premieres at the Phoenix in San Francisco later this month and whose new movie on America's all-time champion mass murderer premieres a few days after our cruise. We'll address all the heavy geopolitical stuff but we'll also kick loose in the evening with dinner, convivial receptions and some late-night laughs. And we'll do a lot of the stuff we do here but this time at sea: On the St Lawrence, where the destiny of a continent changed hands, we'll dive into a little history; as we approach Prince Edward Island, I'll essay a real-time Tale for Our Time of Anne of Green Gables; and against the backdrop of the blazing autumnal leaves of New England we'll present a live version of one of our Steyn Club Sunday Poems.
There'll also be plenty of time for relaxation and revelry and getting to know your fellow Club members and our special guests. And every day we'll enjoy world class service from Holland America, exquisite dining, all the benefits of a flagship cruise ship, and the spectacular beauty of the Canadian Maritimes and the New England coast at the height of leaf season.
We've reserved the best cabins throughout the ship - and in all of the various categories so that you can make accommodation arrangements that suit you best. We're excited to welcome you aboard for the first ever Steyn at Sea cruise - but tempus fugit, so don't leave it too long! (As with most travel bookings, the price is better the earlier you book.)
So picture yourself on Holland America's lovely ms Rotterdam, along with your fellow Steyn Club cruisers and me and my guests, enjoying seven full days and nights of shipboard fun as we ponder the collapse of western civilization. There'll be:
*Live editions of The Mark Steyn Show, including your participation in our Clubland Q&As;
*Plenty of chances to meet, schmooze and hector me and my guests;
*Exclusive Club parties and dining with yours truly, our guest speakers, and your fellow Steyn Club cruisers;
*Exclusive cocktail receptions;
*Accommodations and all meals included;
*Port charges, taxes, fuel surcharges, and government fees all included;
*Most shipboard activities included;
*A fully escorted cruise by Steyn Club staff and the best cruise organizers in the business;
*And a few surprises along the way...
If you're one of those people who have always wanted to come on a cruise but have yet to take the, er, plunge, well, there's never been a better time to stop procrastinating. You don't have to be married, or even going steady: Nearly thirty per cent of our cruisers are single, so, if you fancy your chances with a Steyn Club member as the moon hangs over the Bay of Fundy and the sound of me singing "Cat Scratch Fever" wafts up from below deck, give it a go. You'll have the time of your life - from September 29th to October 6th, aboard the ms Rotterdam, or, as we'll rechristen it for the week, HMCS Steyn*.
(*Here's Mark's Club Ship)
PS I was very touched by this response from Diane, one of our members in the United Kingdom:
I impulsively booked Mark's cruise on Tuesday. Now slightly panicking as I have to organise flights from UK, hotel and traveling and haven't been away on my own for twelve years, and then only once. I do hope it's good!
It will be, Diane. And thanks for making the trip all the way from across the Atlantic. By the way, Cindy, our cruise manager, can help with those flight and hotel bookings: If you're calling from the United Kingdom, it's 001 (770) 952-1959; if you're calling from this side of the Atlantic, it's 1-800-707-1634. Or you can email your query here.
To address Diane's broader point: If, as our Club does, you have members all over the map - the Yukon, the Czech Republic, Thailand, Vanuatu - there isn't really any ideal cruise itinerary other than a round-the-world voyage (which we'll consider a year or three hence). We appreciate that this one is more convenient for Steyn Clubbers in eastern North America, but we promise to bear in mind our European, Asian and Antipodean members for future seafaring adventures.
TO RESERVE YOUR CABIN OR STATEROOM, CLICK HERE. For queries about the cruise, please call Cindy and her Cruise Authority colleagues on 1-800-707-1634 (or +1 (770) 952-1959) or email us here.
~For more Steyn Club first anniversary celebrations, please see:
Clubland Q&A
Birthday Bash
Steyn's Song of the Week
Happy Birthday to You
A Clubman's Notes
Year Two Begins
On the Town
Non-Stop Number Ones
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36 Member Comments
I really wish I could go. Maybe next year.
Serendipitously, the inaugural cruise ends on the night of my fiftieth high school reunion which I've put off as my inaugural participation in such shenanigans. The year that I graduated may have been the last that Bellaire Senior High was academically number one in the United States by all comparative metrics. Having lived long enough to come to appreciate the benefits conferred on me by surviving such educational standards, I finally believe I have a reason to celebrate my graduation. Regretfully, I can't do both the cruise and reunion, especially since I will not permit myself to visit Boston for the first time without thoroughly seeing it. Wistfully, I wish all able participants bon voyage.
Will there be an itinerary published before the cruise? I'm asking because there are a couple of tours that look interesting, but I don't want to book anything in case it conflicts with the main reason for the cruise.
Hi Chris - do feel free to sign up for the great tour offerings at port. The programming takes place while at sea. Look forward to seeing you.
I'm all booked , and veryuch looking forward to meeting everyone. I have a question regarding attire. Mr.Steyn,as you are more of a classical type man, do I need a tuxedo, or is a nice suit ok?
Despite being a magisterial wordsmith and brutal punster, perhaps marketing is not for you. Steyn "at sea" gave me a bit of a chuckle, considering the idiomatic usage of that term. But I thank you for projecting onto my mental cinema screen the image of middle-aged singles flirting as you croon campy tunes wearing a conservative tie. I hope the cruise goes well and is repeated, so that I might take part next time.
I am not able to attend. However could meet or arrange something in Portland when you land there, if you are interested?
Mark, I'd love to join the cruise. Thing is, I have a tiny dog that has a a severe case of separation anxiety. Have tried kenneling, and even overnights with family. No go. Can I bring her along? She'd be the belle of the ball. Maybe even a mascot.
PS. I love cats, too. Got the Yorkie 2 months after saying farewell to my 22 yr-old feline, Sprocket, who was half Siamese, half tortoise-shell. Had the voice, and the attitude, but not the coloring. A great mouser.
Ok, I'm booked. Can't wait!
I'm coming, but with a bit of a 'hidden' agenda. I see the ship goes past Grosse ÃŽle. I'll be bringing my camera and taking photos for people back home. Some of our (non-Irish) ancestors were quarantined there when they first came to Canada. Oh the days when the worst things about immigrants were their diseases. I'll be the guy on deck with the camera and long lens.
Ok I am coming aboard for the cruise. I will try not to slam the doors to loudly, or drink too much.
Looking forward to meeting the fellow Marksist's.
Cheers
Congratulations on your George Jonas Freedom Award. I wanted to come but it conflicted with my daughter's graduation. The cruise looks fabulous - can't make it this time, maybe the next one. Very much appreciate your insights and courage to speak boldly and frankly. Your insight is truly a gift. Thank you!
Hi Mark,
Do you need any more exceedingly engaging, erudite, informed, blessed-with-a-heroic-chin, who long ago rivalled the Apollo Belvedere type speakers ? If so you have my email. And seriously, there is no excuse for any rust on a ship. Trust me.
Oh my word. John O'Sullivan and Mark Steyn both within conversation-reach?! Sign me up!
From the picture, the ship looks a bit . . . rusty.
Cruise is a great idea and I like the itinerary. I have taken 3 cruises in the past 3 years with Holland America and enjoyed them so I can recommend it to others. Work prevents me from making this one I regret. As a former northern New Englander that works in Boston I recommend this cruise to others. Hope you will repeat it next year so I can plan accordingly.
I'm trying to free up the time. I'm a bit worried about being a single on a cruise. as much as I enjoy my own company, even I have my limits.
Mark replies:
Don't worry about that, Jay. We're an affable bunch, and I believe about 30 per cent of your fellow cruisers are also single. So the whole week will be like one of those French bedroom farces - all slamming doors, hiding in wardrobes, hanging off the balcony and trying to drop to the deck below, etc.
And, as a bonus, Jerry Lewis will not be among the company!
The Mark Steyn Club Cruise version of A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC perhaps, or even better, A LITTLE RIGHT MUSIC!
Will kinder eggs be provided on the pillows? If so, will they be the Canadian or USA version?
Mark replies:
At The Mark Steyn Club, we do not recognize the American pseudo-version: There is no Kinder Joy in Steynville.
Dear Mark, As someone who has been reading you avidly since your time at the Speccie, been sending letters to SteynOnline since it was established (many of which you have published) and attended your Sydney, Australia talks, I regret to advise that, much as I would love to, I cannot afford to join your cruise. I have had my own hugely expensive and protracted litigation (4 years and 8 months) in the Family Court of Australia (aka the 'Destruction of heterosexual fathers' Court') over custody of my three children which destroyed my independent, lucrative, professional practice and left me a technical bankrupt with no assets. But have fun!
Mark replies:
Very sorry to hear that, Simon - both the bankruptcy and the reason for it. As I was told by several people on recent visits Down Under, the Aussie courts, like most institutions in the west today, are no friends to fathers.
I'm coming. Need a new passport first, but there's time enough, I think.
Mark replies:
Terrific, Michelle. See you in September!
I keep thinking about Frankie Ford.
.
Could I respectfully request a Tales of Our Time during those eight days as a consolation for those of us who have to stay ashore? Thanks
The day you arrive in Boston we will be commemorating the 250th anniversary of the arrival of British troops--in October 1768. A hundred or so Redcoats will land at Long Wharf and march to Boston Common in what the Bostonians called "an insolent parade."
This was the event that brought on the American Revolution, as the Empire was trying to govern this recalcitrant province.
Mark replies:
That's brilliant timing, Robert, of which I was not hitherto aware. A ship arriving from Canada on such a day ought surely to be sufficiently "insolent" to attract some rebel colonist gunfire - a splendid finale to our cruise. We'll try to persuade the Canadians aboard not to re-take Massachusetts - the last thing Canada needs is an eleventh province even less friendly to conservatives than the existing ones.
This'll be like three trips in one for me. I've wanted to go to Montreal since I read about it in National Geographic, I've wanted to go to Boston and New England during the fall colors, and I've been thinking about a river cruise since seeing the ones advertised on TV. But this will be even better, for all the Steyn Club reasons, of course, but also because it will include the open ocean with stops in places I've long wanted to see: Nova Scotia and Maine.
Sounds like a very fun floating excursion! I want to go on a Steyner Liner Cruise just so I can toss one of my cell phones over the rail!
Mark replies:
Exactly. Fran, for those who don't get the allusion, is referring to a second-chorus improvisation of mine here.
And if you don't mind me noting that song "Slow Boat to China" is one of my very favorites on that "Goldfinger" cd of yours. When I first bought the cd I sang it so many times while driving the hour to and from my classes at UTEP, I became hoarse; especially fun was belting out that one line about the cell phone. Drivers alongside of me must've thought I was teleconferencing on my car's Bluetooth. And it's a really tough call to pick one song, too, because one after another on the entire disk is a winner.
Mark replies:
Steady on, Fran, I'm not sure I'd go that far. But, if I do say so myself, I'm on my game in "Slow Boat".
Definitely on your game, Mark, and so is Miss Martin! What a team!!
Isn't there a law against cruising?
We'll be booking the cruise very soon. We live in Eastern Ontario so easy for us to reach Montreal.
I love your sense of humour which few conservative Americans or even Canadians seem to have. Only Dennis Miller or Ezra Levant of The Rebel with some of his sketches come to mind.
My mother was British and so I was exposed to Peter Sellers, the Goon Show records and Benny Hill. I remember such gems as Sellers farcical travelogue Balham: Gateway to the South and of course I'm All Right Jack. Was that the one with the 'undeserving poor'?
Mark replies:
Indeed it was, Nicola. Re Balham, that's our exotic cruise destination next year, so don't give it away or there'll be a stampede...
Maybe Heavens Above where he played a naive vicar.
Benny Hill and Peter Sellers— plus Dave Allen. And The Two Ronnies. A bygone comedy era.... they'd all be facing HRC allegations nowadays!
Don't forget Beyond the Fringe. On the whole, I'd rather have been a judge than a miner (HRH Elizabeth II's favorite sketch, iirc).
The end of the world sketch is perilously close to modern day climate "science".
My wife and I will be on the ship arriving from the wilds of Michigan.
Very "Four Yorkshireman" (the miner)!
On a related note, Alan Bennett's "Talking Heads" and "The History Boys" (for radio/ stage) are brilliant. Also— speaking of QEII— Bennett's novella, "The Uncommon Reader", is very enjoyable. It's fascinating to know (or even speculate!) about what Her Majesty finds entertaining; I like to think SteynOnline would feature prominently.
This sounds so fun. I'm afraid the season of lofe I am in precludes going this year, but hopefully by 2024!