Cloudy with a Chance of Jewish Conspiracies

by Andrew Lawton
July 3, 2018

https://www.steynonline.com/8725/cloudy-with-a-chance-of-jewish-conspiracies

It looks like Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel's "never let a serious crisis go to waste" quip has been hijacked by the Iranian mullahs.

Iran is going through a bit of a dry spell, which one of the country's generals says is a result of "cloud theft" by Israel.

It's like that old Persian proverb, let no good drought go by without blaming the Jews for it.

"The changing climate in Iran is suspect," said Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali. "Israel and another country in the region have joint teams which work to ensure clouds entering Iranian skies are unable to release rain. On top of that, we are facing the issue of cloud and snow theft."

These claims aren't exclusive to Iran, though. It was only a few months ago that DC councilman Trayon White complained the Jews were controlling the weather.

Here's a look back at Mark's take on that story with Tucker Carlson in March:

For more on The Mark Steyn Club, see here. And don't forget our upcoming Steyn Club inaugural cruise sailing with Mark and his special guests this September from Montreal to Boston.

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34 Reader Comments

AB43 • Jul 7, 2018 at 14:39

I was thinking about what Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali. said and realized that actually he is an apostate. As senior military commander of Iranian army he shows insufficient religious fervor by not acknowledging that whatever happens including the drought is the will of Allah and it is a meted as punishment for evil action of the Iranian government. They must repent. It is not different than the earthquake that devastated Portion of Iran that was caused in accordance Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi because of scantly dressed women. They must repent and don a burka before everything is destroyed

Wayne Lanham • Jul 5, 2018 at 08:44

I missed this one before, and it really was epic. America is such a boundless land of opportunity that you can get rich selling people an"education" in microaggressions for the tidy sum of $250,000, or whatever the going rate is at your preferred bleeding heart liberal bastion of leftist indoctrination.

Stowe-man • Jul 4, 2018 at 00:53

Well, I for one am not surprised.

I remember hearing that Roald Dahl was antipathetic towards Jews, if not downright anti-Semitic. Its pretty clear to me now that it was because his parent's must have told him that the Jews stole the 'N' from his first name.

Kate Smyth • Jul 3, 2018 at 21:43

Much funnier even was the Jew shoe-theft conspiracy in 2015. Mark— who noted that Asghar Bukhari was "waiting for the other shoe to drop", linked to Laura Rosen Cohen's excellent round-up: "We have your shoe, @AsgharBukhari. Call me. #MossadStoleMyShoe".

Laura Rosen Cohen

Kate Smyth • Jul 6, 2018 at 15:05

Kate, thanks for the kind words. I just saw this morning that Ashgar tweeted that Jews behead Palestinian children and dance about it at weddings. What a dummy. We only do that at Bar Mitzvahs.

Kate Smyth

Laura Rosen Cohen • Jul 6, 2018 at 21:12

Lol.

I rewatched his YouTube video about the stolen shoe. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Perry Pattetic • Jul 3, 2018 at 21:04

Well, God is Jewish. He have Moses the 12 commandments - Number 12 was Thou Shalt Not Let It Rain On Iran.

Perry Pattetic

Perry Pattetic • Jul 3, 2018 at 21:36

Someone conspired to turn gave into have

David Watson • Jul 3, 2018 at 21:03

It's a sure sign of respect when your adversary accuses you of God-like actions. Not so bad if idiots hate you if they respect you. Respect is what keeps the peace.

Robert Fox • Jul 3, 2018 at 21:01

Mark,
Who comes up with the titles for these pieces? They are as entertaining as the articles themselves. I laugh every time I see this one.

Janet Pajerski • Jul 3, 2018 at 19:47

I see the persistent 'condensation' trails cutting across the sky on a daily basis -- doesn't look good. The Iranians may be on to something.

David from Florida • Jul 3, 2018 at 19:30

In July 2007, the Iranians arrested fourteen squirrels and charged them with spying for Israel. According to the report, "Recently, Iran has increased its efforts in combating espionage by the West. The use of rodents has not been documented in the past."

https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3425130,00.html

Stowe-man

David from Florida • Jul 4, 2018 at 09:43

It was actually brilliant. The Mossad had them thinking it was the squirrels, wasting time chasing them all over the place, and spending precious hours manufacturing and then trying to get little handcuffs on them, while all the while the Israeli griffon vultures were collecting critical data on the Iranian pistachio harvest.

AB43 • Jul 3, 2018 at 14:26

Muslims like Jewish conspiracies Remember couple of years back in Egypt they accused Israel that it is training sharks to attack vacationers in Egyptian Red sea resorts after shark attack incidents

Andrew A

AB43 • Jul 3, 2018 at 17:46

Or the griffon vultures being arrested for spying in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon after being caught wearing id tags from Israeli universities.

The vultures, sharks, and clouds are doing their part to stop jihad. Keep it up!

PK33 • Jul 3, 2018 at 13:57

I remember hearing many myths and jokes about, as well as slurs toward Jews in my youth. Some I did not understand at the time, too terrible to post here, and when I finally got them later I was appalled. One thing that people used to say was, "He jewed me", not recognizing its meaning. At a business lunch over a decade ago, one of my co-workers made that statement and I politely called him to task on it. He said he didn't realize that it had anything to do with the Jews as he had never even thought about it and he apologized with a crimson face.

Used to be that we could have civil discourse around such subjects without the need for PC police and hate speech legislation, and that as people matured they were enlightened about others, whether good or bad, and didn't paint a single group with such a broad brush. There was no need to say things like, "Of course not all Muslims are terrorists...." because it didn't need to be said, but it was also recognized that some Muslims are terrorists.

It's no wonder that certain cultures have virulent anti-Semitism ingrained in their psyche as they have no doubt been bombarded with indoctrination since birth and it continues forever. No one stands up to condemn and correct. We see the same digression in identity politics. Hate of others, based on some identity, is becoming more ingrained from cradle to grave.

AB43

PK33 • Jul 3, 2018 at 18:51

There are several variants of anti-Semitism
The oldest is the religion based Jew hatred directed mostly toward observant Jews. The Cristian Jew hatred accusing Jews of Deicide and rejecting the new testament. The Muslim Jew hatred for insulting Mohamed by rejecting Mohamed as messenger of God and Mohamed edict of enshrining eternal Jew hatred as part of Islam religion. There is not much that can be done against religion based Jew hatred short of giving up the religion and converting. Although the Christians have done some actions to reduce the intensity of religion based Jew hatred
The second oldest variant of Jew hatred what I call envy Jew hatred . Which is resentment of Jews success in Economy and in Science disproportionately to their percentage in the population. There is not much that can be done against envy Jew hatred although people of oriental background becoming as successful as Jews so the envy factor is distributed over larger segment of population.
The newest variant of Jew hatred is the political Jew hatred accusing Jews or people of Jewish ancestry of too much influence in politics and media disproportionately to their portion of the population
As a Jew that bothers me very much because it is not without foundation. There are too many Jews or people of Jewish ancestry in prominent position what is called the "progressive political persuasion " and they are not shying away from taking radical positions in politics, In academia, in Judiciary and in the media. I am afraid that this will not end well not for the country and not for all Jews even for a political Jews.

Sol Cranfill

AB43 • Jul 3, 2018 at 20:47

To ask the question that has been asked exhaustively: Why do you think that, in the USA, Jews (especially prominent ones) tend to line up on the left?

Sol Cranfill • Jul 4, 2018 at 09:08

Because some batteries are given out free of charge

chickensoup

PK33 • Jul 4, 2018 at 10:07

when I was young my Jewish grandfather and Irish grandmother often used the word "schmuck" to describe people that they thought were unpleasant and difficult. Essentially it was a descriptor that I understood to mean "jerk."

I used it with some Jewish friends years later, and they became very angry with me. I guesses it meant Jewish Jerk. I was very defensive, I never meant it as a slur on Jews. I never got a chance to say I was sorry.

Laura Rosen Cohen

Sol Cranfill • Jul 4, 2018 at 12:20

Sol, this is because in the USA and other parts of the West, these individuals are religious leftists who were merely born Jewish. They see salvation and spiritual satisfaction in leftism and not Judaism. They are nominally Jewish culturally, or gastronomically but they are religious leftists. If you look at them in this way, it's perfectly understandable.

That's the whole "gantze megillah".

Laura Rosen Cohen

chickensoup • Jul 4, 2018 at 12:24

That's really weird that they got angry. It's literally a penis, but the colloquial is definitely "jerk" or jerk-ish behaviour particularly and it's only about men. Like you know that story of that radical New York socialist who worked in a restaurant and didn't want to divvy up her tips? She ended up grudgingly giving her fellow waitress less than her fair share, and only after the other one raised a stink. If that was a guy, it would be the perfect case of "don't behave like a schmuck". But she's a gal so there are other terms...

I give you Jew permission to call schmucks schmucks.

chickensoup

Laura Rosen Cohen • Jul 4, 2018 at 12:59

LOL ! Thanks!

I didn't know what the term actually meant, I guess I never heard anyone as having a big schmuck, however now that I think of it, I have heard that so-and-so was a big schmuck.

Sol Cranfill

Laura Rosen Cohen • Jul 4, 2018 at 14:02

Someone said the history of Jewish persecution has led Jews to look to government to protect against those forces, which fits into your summation.

Jewishness is a funny race. The absence of a Jewish woman above you in your line, and you cease being Jewish. How does that come out in "23andMe"? "We find that you are three-quarters Irish and one-quarter nothing." Yet, you can opt in, like Ivanka Trump (perhaps a basis for a lawsuit by Rachel Dolezal).

AB43

Sol Cranfill • Jul 4, 2018 at 18:34

Sol The short answer to your question is that they are not Jews. Their religion is socialism. A socialist that had grandfather that was an orthodox Jew is only Jew based on the NAZI racial classification The principles of Judaism are based on conservatism are compilation of proven and tested wisdom of generations of sages that provided common sense rules for human interactions that for most part contradict diametrically the leftist ideology and conduct.

PK33

Sol Cranfill • Jul 5, 2018 at 08:57

I think a lot of Jews line up on the Left because Israel is so villainized in the media regarding the treatment of Palestinians that Western Jews overcompensate to appear "kind and compassionate", without considering the impact of progressive policies.

JMHO

Rob Mort

PK33 • Jul 6, 2018 at 08:10

My dear old dad..he hated the Jews..I was always fascinated where it came from. He was well educated, polite gentlemanly etc but he just didn't like Jews! He fought against Rommel's army in Egypt. He travelled extensively through the middle east in the forties fifties and sixties for work and it just cemented his opinion..

PK33

Rob Mort • Jul 6, 2018 at 10:44

Sometimes we may see what we want to see, or hear. Most of the ME is an echo chamber where the Jews are concerned. I've been to just a few countries, but that was my experience every time. Spend a bit of time in Israel and you'll see Jews and Muslims (among others) living and working side-by-side, even in the Knesset. Will we ever see the same in Arab countries? I'm not holding my breath.

Laura Rosen Cohen • Jul 3, 2018 at 13:34

BIG JEW WEATHER MACHINE

/not worthy

John Frary • Jul 3, 2018 at 13:23

There are always Jews you can use when you need a conspiracy theory. It's commonly assumed that antisemitism as a political movement arises from accusations of Jewish jewishness. I think we should consider an alternative theory, i.e, that paranoid theories and scenarios meet a very basic human need. And Jews meet all the most basic requirements for building such theories and scenarios.

Matt Mounsey • Jul 3, 2018 at 13:01

In fairness to this idiot councilman, he said the Rothschilds control the weather, not the Jews. Best to be specific or we'll be paranoically finding Jewish conspiracies where they don't exist, which kind of defeats the purpose.

Josh • Jul 3, 2018 at 12:45

Watch out, Iran, or it's the locusts for you.

BallBounces in Toronto • Jul 3, 2018 at 12:09

Hey, the climate reparations racket is taken. Find your own racket.

Matthew McWilliams • Jul 3, 2018 at 12:09

I'm surprised that the the climate cabal is not taking advantage of this. The climate models aren't wrong, the Jews stole the temperature increase!