Yes, yes, I know I've been promising every day that Rush will be back the very next day, but I'm 99 per cent certain - okay, 9.9 per cent certain - that he will be here live on Thursday. Maybe Tuesday. Okay, a week on Friday. Alas, today, Wednesday, yours truly will be back on the air for a final three hours of substitute-host-level Excellence In Broadcasting on America's Number One radio show starting at 12 noon Eastern/9am Pacific. You can dial us up either via the iHeart Radio app or on one of over 600 Rush affiliate stations across the fruited plain - such as our old friends at WNTK New Hampshire, where you can listen to the full show from anywhere on the planet right here. And if three hours of me aren't enough I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail north of the border at 5pm Eastern with Toronto's John Oakley.
You can find a few moments from my Tuesday guest-hosting stint here. We surveyed the scene from impeachment to Iran. But, if that's not enough, you can find all the stories we didn't get to right here at SteynOnline in the latest edition of Laura's Links.
~I didn't know Wonkette was still around, but apparently it is:
It was Fox News idiot Mark Steyn, and he said there is a new #scandal brewing after Cory Booker's exit from the race race, as all the major players in tonight's debate (yes there is a debate, that is the point of this post) are white people, except HAW HAW, said Mark Steyn, followed by a "Pocahontas" joke about Elizabeth Warren, and also HAW HAW, said Mark Steyn, is Elizabeth Warren faking being a lady too? Is Pete Buttigieg faking being Teh Gay?
WELL ARE THEY?
STEYN: I mean, he looks like some guy from the accountancy department. He doesn't — that's a very non-gay look.
OK. Sounds like a real well-rounded guy there, who knows what Teh Gay looks like! Also, "accountancy department."
Also, "Teh Gay", I'd say.
Meanwhile, America's venerable gay newspaper The Advocate accuses me of "hypocritically bashing Democrats for lack of diversity":
While some Democrats are disappointed that the field has become less racially diverse, it should be pointed out that Republican elected officials are overwhelmingly white and male, and that Steyn's appeal to ageism overlooks that Donald Trump is a septuagenarian white guy — he'll be 73 at the time of the presidential election.
The Advocate apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word "hypocritical". I'm quite upfront about my contempt for "diversity" fetishization, identity politics, and all the other cant of the age: I'm entirely indifferent to whether either the Democrat primary or the Oscar nominations are just a gaggle of ethno-orientationally indistinguishable white men. But you're the guys who bleat on about this bollocks all the time, and right now you're going to wind up with a presidential candidate who's either cis-septuagenarian Biden or cis-septuagenarian Bernie - unless the nomination ends up being bought by cis-spendaholic septuagenarian billionaire Bloomberg. That's hilarious.
~In Megxit news, The Sun reports:
ROYALLY EXPENSIVE: Canada ALREADY getting fed up with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, expert claims as security bill reality hits home
Imagine my surprise to find that the "expert" of that headline is ...me! Whether I'm an expert in Royal security or Canadian hostility thereto is unclear. But I believe this is my first appearance in The Sun in twenty years, so I'm disinclined to quibble.
I was in that Lion King line-up and having just given Harry the latest World Cup Final cricket score from Lord's assumed he was passing on the latest score to Bob Iger who looks suitably perplexed as he had always thought Ben Stokes was a mountain in Scotland.
That tickled me and I was thinking of quoting it on the radio. But then I figured that by the time I'd explained to Americans about the cricket and the cricketer and then the particular Scottish topographical term on which the pun depends 200 or so of our affiliates would have canceled the show. But maybe I'll try to slip it in with Tucker tomorrow...
~As many of you will know, both the Mark Steyn Cruise maiden voyage and last year's encore excursion quickly sold out. So, by popular demand, we scheduled a third cruise for later this year. After a special Steyn Club reception in Rome on October 5th, we sail out into the Mediterranean aboard the MS Nieuw Statendam. Holland America's beautiful and brand new flagship will be hitting all the high spots - Cartagena, Gibraltar, Seville, Barcelona, Marseilles, Monte Carlo, Pisa and more - before returning to Rome on October 15th 2020. I'll be doing double-duty, hosting the cruise, and also hosting live seaboard editions of many favorite features along the way - Tales for Our Time, Song of the Week, Steyn's Sunday Poem, and The Mark Steyn Show. I don't have to carry the load single-handed, of course. I'll be assisted by various special guests and old friends from round these parts - including Michele Bachmann, one of my very favorite presidential candidates of recent years; my old boss Conrad Black, recently pardoned by President Trump; Douglas Murray, author of the bestselling book The Strange Death of Europe; John O'Sullivan, Mrs Thatcher's speechwriter and a doughty Brexiteer; and more. We'll address all the heavy geopolitical stuff but we'll also kick loose in the evening with dinner, convivial receptions, some late-night laughs and a little live music.
There'll also be plenty of time for relaxation and revelry and getting to know your fellow Steyn cruisers and our guests. And every day we'll enjoy world class service from Holland America, and the spectacular beauty of the Mediterranean and some of its great cities.
We've reserved the best cabins throughout the ship - and in all of the various categories so that you can make accommodation arrangements that suit you best. We're excited to welcome you aboard for the first ever European Steyn at Sea cruise - but tempus fugit, so don't leave it too long! (As with most travel bookings, the price is better the earlier you book.)
So picture yourself on Holland America's lovely MS Nieuw Statendam, along with your fellow Steyn Club members and me and my guests, enjoying ten full days and nights of shipboard fun as we ponder the collapse of western civilization. There'll be:
*Live editions of The Mark Steyn Show, including your participation in our Clubland Q&As;
*Plenty of chances to meet, schmooze and hector me and my guests;
*Exclusive cocktail receptions and dining with yours truly, our guest speakers, and your fellow Steyn cruisers;
*Accommodations and all meals included;
*Port charges, taxes, fuel surcharges, and government fees all included;
*Most shipboard activities included;
*A fully escorted cruise by Steyn Club staff and the best cruise organizers in the business;
*And a few surprises along the way...
If you're one of those people who have always wanted to come on a cruise but have yet to take the, er, plunge, well, there's never been a better time to stop procrastinating. You don't have to be married, or even going steady: Nearly thirty per cent of our cruisers are single, so, if you fancy your chances with a Steyn Club member as the moon hangs over the Côte d'Azur and the sound of me singing "Cat Scratch Fever" wafts up from below deck, give it a go.
Any questions? Cindy, our cruise manager, can help with most of them, including flight and hotel bookings: If you're calling from beyond North America, she's on +1 (770) 952-1959; if you're calling from this side of the Atlantic, it's toll-free on 1-800-707-1634. Or you can email your query here.
TO RESERVE YOUR CABIN OR STATEROOM, CLICK HERE.
See you on the radio Wednesday at noon Eastern in America - and/or 5pm Eastern in Canada.