Programming note: Today, Thursday, I'll be back behind the Golden EIB Microphone for three hours of substitute-host-level Excellence In Broadcasting sitting in for Rush on America's Number One radio show. The fun starts at 12 noon Eastern/9am Pacific. Hope you'll dial us up either via the iHeart Radio app or on one of over 600 stations across the fruited plain, such as our old friends at WNTK New Hampshire, where you can listen to the full show from anywhere on the planet right here.
~I'm not sure what's on the rundown for today's broadcast, but, not for the first time, I'm reminded that the old saw about history repeating itself - first tragedy, then farce - gets things the wrong way round. Every time I glance at the news, an old gag of mine from fifteen years ago is being reprised with a straight face. For example, on Tuesday the Miss America pageant announced that it would no longer include a swimsuit competition:
"We've heard from a lot of young women who say, 'We'd love to be a part of your program but we don't want to be out there in high heels and a swimsuit,' so guess what, you don't have to do that anymore," Gretchen Carlson, chairwoman of the Miss America Organization, told "Good Morning America."
"Who doesn't want to be empowered, learn leadership skills and pay for college and be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul," she said. "That's what we're judging them on now."
Yeah, well, good luck with that. If you've got a copy of The [Un]documented Mark Steyn (personally autographed copies of which are exclusively available from the SteynOnline bookstore, and make a lovely Father's Day gift), or if you've seen me on stage in Toronto and elsewhere, you'll be familiar with my beloved "My Sharia Amour" routine. It began in 2002 when Nigerian Muslims rioted over the Miss World competition and it was suggested that the event should be more "culturally sensitive". So I wrote a whimsical fantasy on what a "culturally sensitive" Miss World might look like:
I glanced at my watch. "For crying out loud, when are they going to raise the curtain?"
"They have raised the curtain," said David Hasselhoff. "Those are the girls." I peered closer at the shapeless line of black cloth, and he was right: there they all were, from Miss Afghanistan to Miss Zionist Entity.
I sighed. "How long till the swimsuit round?"
"This is the swimsuit round," said David.
Five years ago Miss World abolished the swimsuit round for real - and, as John Hinderaker notes, hasn't been heard of since. Now Miss America has followed suit. Thanks to the progressive left's trailblazing, you'll barely notice when the mullahs take over.
~While I disagree with Gretchen Carlson on the Miss America swimsuit round, I am in full agreement with her on the iniquity of mandatory "confidential" arbitration clauses in contracts. Gretchen's observations on sexual harassment claims apply more broadly:
The company wipes their forehead with their hand and goes, "Phew, nobody will ever know about this," because of these clauses. Then you get thrown into forced arbitration where, oftentimes, the company picks your arbitrator for you. You don't get the same number of witnesses and depositions [as you would in court]. Rarely does the employee win — only 20 percent of the time. And there are no appeals.
Everyone thinks arbitration is swifter, simpler and more efficient than going to a regular court. In fact, it's everything a court is - with the added wrinkle that you have to pay for the judge, the clerks, the bailiff, the court reporter, the courthouse janitor, etc. So, for example, in county court a lowly employee at least has the option of representing herself. In arbitration, even if you decide to represent yourself, you still have to pony up for all the above.
In my own stupendous victory over vexatious litigants CRTV, you'll notice (page 20) that, aside from damages, attorney's fees, interest, etc, the judge ordered CRTV to pay me $76,574.98 in arbitration costs. Several readers thought that was the costs of the suit - lawyers' travel expenses, stenographers for depositions, etc. Not at all. That's the American Arbitration Association's bill for hosting the case. And you have to pay upfront. That's like the New Hampshire District Court saying, sure, we'll hear your case, but it'll cost you 75 grand. For the average person, that's a significant amount of dough to roll on a 20 per cent shot at victory. Even for handsomely remunerated independent contractors, it's a large sum to have to pay before figuring out what you'll have left for your lawyer. (In my case, it's a largely moot point because Cary Katz and CRTV have not paid a penny of that $76,574.98, never mind any of the damages. And have gone to AAA to sue me all over again, and force me to blow through another five-figure sum to get an award they'll never pay.)
Gretchen Carlson's campaign to rein in this awful and discriminatory system is worthy of your full support.
~Next week I'll be live in Toronto for the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms's first ever George Jonas Freedom Award. For Rush listeners in Buffalo, that's a zippy 90 minutes up the Queen Elizabeth Way, and ,if you're minded to attend, there's a 15 per cent discount if you enter the promo code STEYNCLUB18. More details about the event here. But remember there are only two more days left to book.
We have some special events planned as we begin the second year of The Mark Steyn Club, including the inaugural Mark Steyn Club Cruise, sailing from Montreal to Boston at the height of the fall foliage season. (Those Steyn cruise cabins are selling fast, and pricing is better the earlier you book.) Club members also enjoy special member pricing on over forty products at the Steyn store, including à propos the Miss America news above, our My Sharia Amour gift pack. So, if you've been thinking about signing up, you can find more details about the Club here - and, if you've a chum who'd enjoy our audio fiction, video poetry and much more, don't forget our limited-time Gift Membership, which makes a great Father's Day gift.
See you on the radio in a couple of hours - and do give me a call.
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I believe I recall that Gretchen Carlson was a Miss America (or close to it) at one time, so she has enjoyed the benefits of those reviews of old herself. If the intent of a Beauty Pageant is to find, and judge, the beauty in their soul, I was unaware. By the way, Mark, I was visiting my local Verizon Authorized Dealer to throw some money at electronic problems, and I accessed their house WiFi during a wait period, and found that SteynOnline was .... blocked. "Your internet provider does not allow .... " I suspect it was Verizon's decision. I did not realize what a risque site & club we are! I am proud to be part of the Steyn Underground, rather than just one more OFWG with a bad cellphone (Old Fat White Guy).
I've always thought that it takes a heaping helping of confidence and poise to go on stage in a swimsuit and heels and talk about whirled peas, or whatever.
There's a wonderful possibility for a Doctor Who cliffhanger here. Imagine about ten thousand of these "women" (to paraphrase C S Lewis speaking through Puddleglum, how we know there's a human being in there? could be, e.g., a dancing bear) "praying" in Trafalgar Square.
Then off come the shrouds, to reveal masses of daleks, eyes, guns, and suckerholders come up amid cries of "exterminate --- the ---- humans ... exterminate --- the --- humans ...... " as the music marking the end of the episode kicks in ......
Or you could adapt the end of episode 3 of the Masque of Mandragora
https://ca.video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=masque+of+mandragora+daily+motion#id=4&vid=f589ba90ad3755879714e1f5a4f0c5fc&action=click
the part where the Count rips off Hieronymus' "hijab" and gets ... well, watch the video starting at 21:44. Enjoy!
I see so many negative comments on here about the photo. I mean, what's wrong with a cosplay Mrs. Darth Vader competition? It can't all be cinnamon bun hairdos and chain mail bikinis, can it?
Well this is confusing. Pageants eliminate bikinis and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition shows "plus" size models in bikinis.
Which is it Lefties, "objectifying" women or "celebrating" all body types?
Ah, your error is obvious. The Left doesn't want to celebrate ALL body types, just the ones that deny men their masculinity. Once you've found something that's anti-male then objectify away! And don't forget that if you're not interested then you're a bigot, a misogynist, a pig, and you probably like blue cheese too! ( I know I really like blue cheese... )
I used to get angered by PC nonsense because I saw it as the left's way of forcing their ideas on the rest of us. However, now that the election of Donald Trump has emboldened a lot of sleeping sheep to finally push back it doesn't anger me quite as much anymore. Instead I now shake my head in wonder when I see things like the swimsuit competition being removed from the Miss America pageant. This is truly mindbogglingly stupid. It is a beauty pageant, it is supposed to be an event where beauty is the focus. This is not a matter of ideology, it's simply a matter of stupidity.
I'm now mostly puzzled by the fact that since this idiocy is being accepted, then how do they justify still calling it MISS america an not MS America? I mean if your are going to be idiotic at least you should be consistent.
MS? They won't stop 'til it's MSNBC America.
Wonderful show today! Thank you so much for entertaining/educating us. I look forward to the noon hour to get me through the work day. It truly is the fastest 3 hours in media.
Agreed, Teresa, truly another terrific job that old husk of a sinister, subversive, espionage agent from Canada with the odd accent did today. I didn't hear any liberals call, though. That always adds some fun.
Urgh, "soul-judging": the positive reinforcement for virtue signalling.
Why cancel the swimsuit competition? Why not diversify instead? A celebration of the female form, adorned in everything from burkinis to transkinis. I'm thinking Borat's mankini would be ideal for the semi-transitioned.
(Interestingly, the swimwear apparel recommended for the transitioning woman does vaguely resemble Islamic "modesty swimwear", with the 1950's style bathing suit-with-skirt becoming fashionable for this reason, though the skirt is obviously much shorter than the knee-to-ankle burkini hemline.)
Just wow. I mean please ... everything in the Miss America contest exists to create a semblance of seriousness for the only part that anyone is really interested in. The bathing suit contest.
Take that out, and there's nothing left.
Nonsense! I watch it for the articles! (Sometimes they're printed sideways though...)
I wouldn't have guessed I'd be driving through England (starting near a town I saw on the map called Steyning) listening to Mark Steyning in for Rush, but I was able to using the WNTK link. It sounded like local radio, with commercials mentioning "New London" and weather reports that match London (highs in the 70s, lows in the 50s; slight chance of showers; a bit of fog possible). I look forward to tomorrow evening's show on my way to Wales.
Don't go and get yourself stabbed over there now.
If you're going to Wales, Sol, don't miss Steynton. Any chance you could slip us a link with some photos of the scenery?
I just crossed the border into Wales, but I adhere to the no-link policy. :)
Oh, you 'ole law abiding white hat, you:/
Just wanted to congratulate you on receiving the George Jonas award. Next to you, he was my favorite National Post columnist, though he stayed much longer! You were better on show tunes, he was better on aviation disasters, but you were both precious gems!
George's autobiography, Beethoven's Mask, is a highly entertaining memoir. I recommend tracking it down.
Beauty contests without the beauty. What'll they think of next. But they're pretty much like dog shows. and cattle judging at the county fair - the winners look pretty much like the losers, but the winners get a ribbon, or a rhinestone tiara for the human contestants. And a shot at supervising future shows, as in Gretchen's case. I wonder if Gretchen would have gotten her TV gigs with a smaller bra size? I'm sure that wasn't a consideration at Fox.
For whatever it's worth, one of my mentors had the exact same opinion about arbitration clauses in contracts.
Mark, I had to chuckle, the same day Gretchen, who by the way was made famous and rich in a swimsuit, says no more, and hooray, the press gets in a tizzy over Guilianni arguing Stormy is not a professional by getting men to leer at her body..
Holy cow! Judging the "inside of their souls"??? How is THAT going to play out? I'd much rather be rejected for not measuring up in the swimsuit round than in the beauty-of-the-soul assessment round. And what in the world could the criteria possibly be for qualifying as a soul-beauty judge?
Well, I'm not sure if the cows are holy or not but perhaps we'll know after the inside of their souls have been judged. That is, of course, if they first self-identify as a human woman and then enter the 'pageant'. By next year they'll be complaining that the 'human' requirement is bigoted and then maybe they'll just move the event over to the livestock barns.
As for the souls, I guess it's a tacit admission from the Left that such a thing exists. Mind you, they've always known it does because they've been after everyone's since Marx left his mark.
Then of course there's always the fact that if those women really would love to participate then they'd accept the same rules as anyone else. After all, if they didn't like the rules they were free to start their own beauty, er, inside of their souls pageant instead of taking down an existing event. But as I've said on here before, it's not the end result that they're after, the process is the goal. When they've destroyed one thing they'll move onto the next, be it Boy Scouts, statues of people, or statuesque people. Their goal is the destruction of the West and their method is one piece at a time. Every day there's a new enemy representing the West and that will continue until there are no more representations of the West.
We all wonder about the soul judging criteria Susanna. I'll take a wild guess here and assume it will revolve around how progressive is the candidate. Back in '08 Obama promised to transform America and true to his word delivered. As in Europe the left is promising to transform our culture and this is but a small step. Gee - I wonder if this move might effect the ratings. No need to guess on this one.
Get ready for "soul-shaming".
"...stayed of people and statuesque people." Bravo! Very Steynian, that.
And surely, Roy, the whiter the girl, the uglier her soul.
Already in progress, methinks.
And soul-searching. Find new and interesting ways to signal your virtue!
Very clever Suzy! The shame of it all is that you're 100% correct.
I was listening to you on an EIB station, from Detroit, no less, and I was busting a gut on your take about the War of 1812 "controversy". Absolutely brilliant, but with the number of preppers down in the Sates, I'm not sure if the toilet paper embargo will be all that effective.
If Justin had ANY sense of history (I know, I know), he'd present Trump with a box of Laura Secord chocolates at the G7. Yum.
We have two (2) Laura Secord tea mugs in my abode in Marin County.
Mark, listened to almost all of the EIB today. Loved the War of 1812 discussion. And I, like your caller from Lincoln, NE, have read much on the subject. But the war was mostly around Lake Erie and Lake Ontario. I can't tell you how many times I have passed Gen. Brocks tower on trips to my favorite town in the whole world, Niagara on the Lake. The Iroquois, althouh not legally Canadian citizens (hmm, this sounds familiar) did ransack and pillage what is now Erie County NY. But our Iroquois ( not legally American citizens) also crossed the Niagara River to r & p Upper Canada.
In 1775, Charlottetown PEI was attacked and pillaged by American privateers associated with George Washington. After that, we installed some cannons facing the mouth of the harbour (1805/Napoleonic War). We fire them off every Victoria Day (24th May) to remind Americans and others not to try anything.
It seems to be working. The closest we've come to a firepower confrontation since then was several years back when an American who owned an NFL team in Florida parked his yacht in the mouth of the harbour and shot golf balls off the yacht into the waters of the harbour. In the end, we didn't need to fire the cannons, but we were ready.
When I heard Mark read your comment on air, I knew exactly the source. Pretty cool, BB!
Yes! I was very impressed with the way Mark riffed off of it so readily and easily. I collected a lot of those golf balls from the harbour during low tide, and passed them on to a friend. We can see the cannons across the harbour from where we live. All quiet today; no sign of invaders -- We stand on guard! Looking forward to welcoming everybody when the Steyn Cruise hits Charlottetown!
Nice! I'll catch the next cruise perhaps. Sounds really beautiful up there, driving range by the shore, very nice indeed. You must have a great sand shot by now.
My heart aches with sadness at the sight of the enslaved women in the photo. While some of these women may celebrate their enslavement to Sharia & Allah & Muslim men, the options of those who don't are extremely limited and come with life & death consequences. For those who consider the former contestants of the Miss America pageant to have been enslaved because of the perceived gratuitous nature of the bathing suit and evening gown competitions, our society, flawed as it was/is, still provided/provides, regardless of gender, an unmatched level of equality along with an unmatched level of sovereignty over most options in our lives without threat of death or great suffering.
Don't cry for the bag ladies. They're volunteers, and it's all they know, and it seems to work for them. And they're probably as happy as the more stylishly dressed ladies in other countries, who probably have more need for therapists and substance based mind alterations than their bagged sisters. I'd be more inclined to feel sorry for the males in those regions who are missing out on a lot of enjoyment. Might explain their volatile behavior.
Well said David: We should all remember not to harshly judge Muslim woman who support Sharia law. They are not just brow beaten but physically beaten into submission when young. I'm with you and my heart also aches when viewing women covered in these cloth prisons as in the photo. It's flat out obscene and has no place on this earth in the 21st century. Eternal shame on western leftists who refuse to call out Islamists on this continuing obscenity.
"It's flat out obscene and has place on this earth in the 21st century." Amen to that Roy! Amen to that!
Maybe more like "no" place! Where's my proofreader? They get paid plenty.
My only regret on that comment is that I didn't include most conservatives with our leftists. They have been effectively silenced by Islamophobia so shame on those cowards as well.
Always a hoot... I love Mark's take on this.. but
This isn't about Islam. This is about the radical feminist movement, run by lesbians who hacked the 'agenda' - and now direct it against beauty, femininity, and our cultural bias toward traditional female forms.
Okay, I wouldn't want to parade on stage in a bikini to get a college grant - but then, I never had a terrific body. I was slender enough, but not world class form. That said, everyone appreciates the female form when it's top notch. Even straight grandma's.
But this "agenda" won't stop with the bikini. This is about Lesbian self loathing. This is about their singular, narrow focus on why they, as "unsuccessful" females... that's females biologically, but ruinously unattractive to men for a host of reasons.... are not "valued" for their metrosexual qualities.
This is a BIG BIG deal with lesbians. Got any gay men friends? Ask em.
Gay men idolize the male form, in all it's traditional beauty. I've known a bunch of gays, specifically when I was younger and more social. Their obsession with male 'forms' is, well, an obsession. In their art, home decor, and pornography. Now that I've seen and watched the gay thing for half a century ... it's twisted, but, if confined to other consenting [emphasis on consenting] adult males - I can live and let live.
But lesbians? They are a whole other sickie sickness. They are revolted by Feminine Beauty, form and our cultural proclivity to elevate it beyond, say, the talents of Ellen, Whoopie or Oprah.
They are also busy little beavers [ [pun intended]. Their entire existence is dedicated to the elimination of the [straight] male dominance hierarchy - using beta [read gay] males as unwitting, foot soldiers.
See Jordan Peterson on this phenomenon - he outlines the tactic in scholarly terms to ward off the career destroying backlash.
Lesbians are a nasty lot. When Rachel Maddow looks in the mirror each morning, she recoils from the image that was required for prime time. My money sez she prefers a buzz cut to that oh, so, somewhat attractive asexual hair and make-up.
I'm not pulling this out of my derriere. Again, poll gay men. They know. And they speak openly of lesbian self loathing and the agenda to destroy the imagery that makes gay men weak at the knees, and lesbians want to use their extraordinary influence in media, women's magazines, E!, HR departments and women's studies - to denigrate beauties like Melania ... or even Jolie... and replace them with Chaz, as roll models.
Good luck with that.
as always, there is no edit function so, please be kind about typos on small devices.... I"m guilty as charged. No spell check either on here..
CW - You have a near genius for getting right to the heart of these issues. The continuing attacks on feminine beauty and men who are biologically drawn to attractive women largely come from this toxic group of resentful feminists. I have two wonderful gay male friends and can attest first hand that your take here is dead on. On don't want to come off mean spirited here but the founder of the modern feminist movement wasn't going to win any beauty contests.
The fact that Rush Limbaugh's team stuck with you through all this makes me like him that much more.
I always wondered why there was no Mr. America contest:(
But there is! It's a bodybuilding contest in which the contestants wear a lot less than the ladies do in the swimsuit competition.
There is.
http://mramerica.com/
Jalabiyyahs coming soon.
Fran
I should add that the Muzzies are as much opposed to male quasi-nudity as they are opposed to the female equivalent. They just haven't got around to the men yet. The strategy seems to be borrowed from the strategy used in the Garden of Eden by Satan against Adam & Eve: go after the woman first, and the man will follow much more readily. Except this time, fig leaves aren't enough, nor is gender-neutrality any protection. I'm sorry this comment takes Islamophobia to the extreme, but if the shoe fits ...
Good point James - As CW writes today most gay men are open and honest about celebrating male beauty and female beauty as well. Female impersonators always try to look as pretty as possible - no hypocrisy here as in the radical feminist movement. One reason among many why the two groups don't get along.
This here is a prime example of why Mark does not like us posting links. Yes, alright, you got me. I was lured to open the link and might have whiled away some time while my coconut chocolate walnut blondies were baking but there was nothing to see there just ads to sign up for participating or attending some body building contest in Baltimore. Sheesh! I see all the built-up bodies I can cope with at the gym, but in all seriousness, if I could be that for a second, what I was talking about was a real live-from-Atlantic City Mister America
Contest. It would need the Evening Tuxedo event, the talent segment, and the bodies showing off some swim or surfing wear (I could suffer through anything for twenty minutes), and for the finale. how would the contestant make the world a better place. Isn't that usually what the judges base their final score on? Why not? It's an untapped cash faucet for some entrepreneur.
Ooh la la and shish cumba! Is that what they say in Rio de Janiero?
I suggest the Muslims send their fashion police to Venice Beach, California first. See if they get anyone there to put on more clothes. The garb I see there will have their heads spinning off their shoulders and out to sea with the next tide.
Fran:
"I suggest the Muslims send their fashion police to Venice Beach, California first"
Careful what you wish for. I can see another Steyn column on "Immigrants doing jobs Americans won't do". Totalitarian states are run by armies of schmucks doing jobs no quasi-normal person would ever accept. Even in Saudi, the "morals police" recruit among ex-cons.
How very true, but they just passed a law in California and they now are limiting the amount of water that can be used inside a person's home to fifty-four gallons per person per day. So, it takes about 33 gallons of water to do a large size wash, I believe people will now be forced to decided between showering each day and having clean clothes. Either way, I bet the folks in SoCal will be wearing even scantier clothing soon, and it will have to be freshened up with aromas not laundry soap and water the old fashioned way.
Why do judges award the money if you never get it?
Also I was in a swimming pool in Sharm el Sheikh (Egypt), when half a dozen woman dressed in burqas (as above) jumped in. I did think what was point and obviously horrible when you get out as clothes stick to you. We did get used to it after a while. We never knew if they enjoyed it or not. Sharm was brilliant (before Muslim Brotherhood age and probably good again now).
Try jumping in a pool wearing a burqa. Most likely the wet fabric would pull you under. They must not have gone into the deep end. Forget all the lifesaving techniques they teach you at Red Cross, as well. Just try saving a drowning woman in a burqa. You would get caught in the swirling wet drapery as well and be histoire yourself.
It was a hotel pool (Hilton at sharks bay to Google). It was no more than 4 feet anywhere. I think it was strange for the hotel entertainment staff too. (They were mainly from Italy).
The Burqa ladies (I think) were from Saudi. Didn't see many Egyptians wearing burqas even when we went up to Cairo. Might of all changed now.
That photo! Those floozies! I can see their eyeballs!!
One of the ladies clutching the cutch is showing a bit too much flared nostril. Where is the pixelation for that wardrobe malfunction.
Spat out my coffee reading that!
Whazzat? A "cutch" you say? Is that what Muslim women carry around to look like their assimulatin'?
You grasp the problem, Cohen, and so do the ultra-mullahs.. Men will always focus on whatever proportion of the female anatomy if available to gape at. So 120 years ago they got excited by a shapely ankle. Fifty-odd years ago their hearts went pit-a-pat when a hem slipped up exposing a knee.
I assume future contests will eschew television and provide radio coverage for the contests. I look to Mark Steyn for confirmation.
We can call it the "cutchy-coo-I-see-you" handbag! Hey, that reminds me "voulez-vous faire le shopping avec
moi ce soir"? Woo hoo:)
OMG HA. That's funny. I can "hear" it now "Miss Florida has a REALLY REALLY BIG HEART, which is almost as big as her tuchus that we are not allowed to talk about", and "beautiful-souled Miss Ohio, who prefers to be known as Zher Ohio, volunteered in orphanages with many Xe and Xer children".
The flared nostril trick is the oldest, sluttiest move in the book, Sam-where have you been?????
Fran, any man who willingly accompanies a woman on a shopping trip and dutifully sits for hours in the "bored chair", then patiently reassuring said woman that no of course her ass does not look big/wide/Grand Canyon sized in that [insert whatever random garment item here] certainly deserves a little cootchie-hoochy-couchez avec moi/toi soir time. For real.
Your sensitivity to my sufferings touches me Cohen. One of my ex-wives invited me to stay in her house for a year when I sold mine. One condition---she got to choose all my clothes. My attendance at the process was naturally mandatory. There was no escape.
I should have paid rent.
A frightful image you paint! Eeeks! I was thinking more of a diversionary weekend activity for the radical Muslims who prefer to drive trucks down pedestrian malls.
John, you had my interest piqued at "one of my ex-wives", which leads me to believe you have much experience with the World of Women.
A bushel of experience, Cohen, scarcely a quarter peck of understanding. Don't know why they came for me. Don't know why they left. And none of their explanations made sense.. Now that two decades of senile decay, a supplemental 150 pounds of Frary and buckets of hypertension medication have made me into an extinct volcano I find your lot more relaxing and, in a way, more interesting.